Damar Hamlin is on the phone from Buffalo after two weeks spent seesawing through every human emotion, each day simultaneously exactly what he wanted and not nearly enough. He’s discussing a video of himself a reporter put on X (the platform formerly known as Twitter) on Nov. 5, specifically, the text he wrote when he reposted it. It read, in part:
In the video, the Buffalo Bills safety walks onto the field at Paycor Stadium, alone, before the Bills’ Week 9 game against the Cincinnati Bengals. He stops near midfield. Kneels down. Appears to contemplate deeply. Snaps a selfie. And strolls off.
The video cannot show what he feels deep inside, he says. “What it truly takes to do what I’m doing. What it takes to truly, actually, return to something that actually kills you.”
Some people, Hamlin continues, touch a lit stove, realize how hot it is and never do it again. But he’s not just touching the NFL equivalent of a blistering stove; he’s placing his hand on there, intentionally, for months. “To return to something that actually stopped my heart and, you know, killed me, man . . . I [looked] death in the face. I faced death.”
Quick pause. “I made it through, by the grace of God.”
Hamlin survived, making the heart symbol, formed with two hands put together, his personal marker of resilience. But he does not want to be defined exclusively by what happened in January on that same field in Cincinnati. Instead, he trains his focus forward.
“To be able to still be who I was even before what happened, that’s the journey, the day in, day out of having to realize my reality of what happened to me—and still trying to chase this dream . . . to show strength through all the situations where we might not want to, where that might not be the first emotion that you want to express.
“It’s not easy at all,” he says. “It’s not even as easy as I thought it would be. It’s super tough. It’s extremely tough.”
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Hamlin is being honest, not complaining or asking for sympathy. That’s not who he is. Instead he’s trying to help others, pushing for donations and awareness and change.
Damar Hamlin hasn’t changed, not even after Jan. 2.
